How to win Eurovision
Some people think that Eurovision could be fixed by not revealing the nationality of the songs. I guess the thinking behind this is that people vote based on nationality rather than what they actually like.
However, Rod Liddle in The Spectator has a different idea: Perhaps people actually vote for the songs they like, but cultural differences mean that they like different tunes in different parts of Europe. In his own words:
The UK’s song was a piece of savvy, soul-inflected 12-bar blues; that’s what we usually do for the Eurovision, sometimes witlessly, sometimes — as with Andy Abrahams — with a degree of panache. But the one thing none of the countries east of the Oder-Neisse line have is a tradition of 12-bar blues. It may, up to a point, form the basis of our pop music, but it is an alien, disconcerting life-form in Chisinau and Belgrade and Vilnius. Over there, they like stuff in a minor key, the melodic extension of the Imam’s wail or the pobodny liturgies of the Russian Orthodox Church.If we take part next year, here’s the way to win. Choose someone swarthy and hirsute — preferably a woman — and shove her in the sort of dress worn by Joan Sims in the early Carry On comedies. Ensure that she does not shave her armpits. Give her a song in a minor key wedded to a moronic 4/4 disco beat but which begins with a sort of quasi-spiritual ululating. Let the chorus be along the lines of ‘Life Ees Good!’ or ‘We Are All Frentz!’ — and, from Riga to Baku, watch the votes roll in.
Dubai Metro
I saw an ad in The Economist selling the names of metro stations in the new metro in Dubai.
That’s a wonderful idea, isn’t it? Why give metro stations meaningful names like Cowcaddens and Kelvinbridge when they could be Irn-Bru Station and Bank of Scotland Station, bringing in money for the city council?
But why stop there? Why not bring in more money by changing the name of Glasgow to Coca-Cola City?
And just imagine how much money Bill Gates would pay to rename the United Kingdom Microsoftland.
Sorbisk
Jeg så lige i Spiegel Online, at Sachsens nye ministerpræsident taler sorbisk (vendisk).
Det er jo desværre et meget lille sprog, men jeg har da engang tilbragt en yderst fornøjelig halv time i den sorbiske boghandel i Budyšin (Bautzen), mens mine forældre var ved at gå i panik, fordi de ikke kunne forstå, hvor jeg var blevet af.
Sorbisk er et dejligt slavisk sprog – dualis er fx relativt velbevaret. 
Range cooker
We’ve now stripped the future kitchen complete bare – I’ve even removed the laminate flooring.
Next week, the plan says we’ll get an electrician and a plumber round to put in electricity, gas and water.
After that, we just need to buy a kitchen and install it. Easy!
So at the moment, we’ve browsing through kitchen catalogues to choose everything from worktops over taps to cookers.
At the moment, the range cooker that is tempting us the most is the Belling Sandringham 110DF. It has a plain oven, a fan oven, a slow-cooking oven and a separate grill, as well as seven burners (including a wok one).
Anything we should watch out for?
Scottish beavers
I was thoroughly annoyed a couple of years ago when the Labour government in Scotland rejected a proposal to set beavers free in Scotland, just because some landowners thought they would be a hassle.
So I was very pleased when I learned that the proposal has now been given the green light by the SNP government.
Beavers were released in the wild in Denmark a few years ago, and it’s been a big success. Sure, they build damns and flood fields, but that’s the whole point – the resulting wetlands are great for lots of animals, not just the beavers.
It’s a long trip to get an ice-cream
Phyllis and I thought it was a bit unfair on the kids to do DIY for three days in a row, so Phyllis suggested that we should go for an ice-cream at Nardini’s in Largs.
Sure, it’s a long trip, but she claimed the ice-cream was worth it. (She says it was the first place she ever had a non-vanilla ice-cream in her life.)
However, when we got there, we found out it was closed (see the photo). We later met Joyce (with Steve, Karen and Andrew) who said it closed years ago, so Phyllis must not have been to Largs for longer than she thought.
Today we had our ice-cream at a different Nardini’s near the ferry terminal, and it was absolutely lovely!
All hope is not lost for trying the original Nardini ice-cream, though – according to this article, it is due to open later this summer under new ownership (but with the original recipes).
L’Écosse: Nul points?
Just finished watching the Eurovision Song Contest (”Europæisk Melodi-Grand Prix” in Danish) with Phyllis and the kids.
The UK did badly, as usual.
According to this article, there should be nothing preventing Scotland from participating separately from the UK: “There’s nothing to stop Scotland submitting its own Eurovision entry . . . as the European Broadcasting Union has confirmed. The BBC, ITV, STV and Border Television could submit an entry.”
Surely Scotland could do better outwith the UK?
The best chance for Labour
There’s a good article in The Times tomorrow about what the Tories are hoping Labour will do, and consequently, what Labour should do:
Next week, as Thursday’s by-election cheers and boos subside, [...] Cameron and his crew will be calling on Gordon Brown to do literally anything – make way for a Conservative Government, hold an early election, precipitate a leadership contest, resign… whatever – except inflict upon us the horror of two more years of his wretched administration. [...] For Mr Brown to carry on regardless [is the situation which give the opposition] their best hopes for a whopping victory after a general election that they’ve had ample time to prepare for.
Well worth a read.
Hvad hedder denne bog?
For mange år siden læste jeg en science fiction-roman om et samfund, hvor børnene blev opdraget i en slags blanding af børnehaver og kostskoler, ikke sammen med deres forældre, typisk placeret i øverste etage af et højhus.
Hovedpersonen er en dreng, der bryder reglerne, og derfor bliver smidt ud og må leve sammen med sin far.
Jeg har glemt hvad denne bog hed, og hvem forfatteren var. Er der nogen her, der kan hjælpe?
Jeg spørger, fordi jeg dengang syntes, det lød komplet urealistisk, men i dag synes jeg, vi ser tegn på, at vi bevæger os i den retning.
A spammer wants to kill me
I got a different type of spam mail today, apparently from “adams jamil”. I quote it in its entirety:
I felt very sorry and bad for you, that your life is going to end like this if you don’t comply. I was paid to eliminate you and I have to do it within 10 days.Someone you call your friend wants you dead by all means, and the person have spent a lot of money on this, the person also came to us and told us that he wants you dead and he provided us your names, photograph and other necessary information we needed about you. If you are in doubt with this I will send you your name and where you are residing in my next mail.
Meanwhile, I have sent my boys to track you down and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation, but I ordered them to stop for a while and not to strike immediately because I just felt something good and sympathetic about
Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? It is up to you. Get back to me now if you are ready to enter deal with me, I mean life trade, who knows, and I might just spear your life, $8,000 is all you need to spend. You will first of all pay $3,500 then I will send the tape of the person that want you dead to you and when the tape gets to you, you will pay the remaining $4,500. If you are not ready for my help, then I will have no choice but to carry on the assignment after all I have already being paid before now.
Warning: do not think of contacting the police or even tell anyone because I will extend it to any member of your family since you are aware that somebody want you dead, and the person knows some members of your family as well.
For your own good I will advise you not to go out on.
Hilarious!